babies, babies everywhere

I guess you get to a certain age, and i guess 31 is that age, when all your friends either have babies or are having babies, or are having trouble having babies. it's odd that in one day one can be so inundated with something. Just today I spoke with a co-worker about her new nephew and the jealousy she is feeling about it. Her sister was pregnant when she wanted to be and now the sister has the prize and my friend is still without. Instead she is faced with a process in doctors' offices and sterile instruments. this while, two of my friends on facebook had appointments today to find out the sex of their babies. And on a sadder note, today i also got a message from one of my oldest and dearest friends about her second miscarriage. within this baby phenomenon there is wrapped so much emotion, so many tears of joy and pain, and jealousy, and longing....etc.
I want one... we want one. we are nesting. The journey we will embark on is exciting, but i am reminded when i look around at my friends that anything can happen...

loyal

so everyday i've been looking for things to write about, like back in the old days when i took creative writing with mrs. bruce. who, by the way was a vermont native... full circle. so yeah, this morning i was driving and saw the kids who are waiting for the bus just about everyday, and there's one house that has two teenage boys that wait outside. Everyday a pointer/hound waits patient with them. he stands next to them as they stand by the road. The dog knows when the bus approaches and waits for it to come to complete stop. one of the boys reaches down and pats his head and the dogs head tward the house and indoors. now, you may wonder how i know so many details, but it is because sometimes i get stuck right there, with the bus lights flashing and have the chance to watch it transpire; the complete devotion of a dog. I think about how amazing it is everyday, and just this morning i decided i really needed to write it down. it was my obvious blog choice.
like the fifth graders i so enjoyed teaching, i immediately made connections: connections to my life, to texts and to the world. First i thought of how cleo and jack are loyal and attached to the two of us. just this evening, cleo was feeling a little under the weather after gorging on dog food that lily had knocked over during the day (a whole other story), and she hopped up on the ottoman and then made her way to sarah's lap. she hasn't sat on a lap in years. she is simply not a lap dog, but not feeling well, she just wanted to feel safe and be held a little. the converse is true though. many nights lately sarah has had one of her migraines and cleo makes her way upstairs and into bed with sarah, snuggling up and trying her hardest to make her mom well.
I made a connection to where the red fern grows which i finally read in the last few months. It made me cry... so cliche, but true.
And then i thought of that story of the dog in japan...

Hachiko (pronounced HA-chi-ko) was born in November 1923 in Odate, in the Akita province of Japan. The next year, Ueno brought him to Tokyo. Hachiko followed Professor Ueno everywhere. He accompanied Ueno to the Shibuya train station every morning and then returned and waited for him every afternoon. But, one day in May 1925, Professor Ueno didn’t come home; he’d suffered a fatal stroke at work. Mrs. Ueno gave the dog away to some of the professor’s relatives. But the devoted dog came back and returned to the train station every afternoon for nearly 11 years, at precisely the time that Ueno’s train was due, waiting for the professor. Hachiko did this until his own death in March 1935.

thank goodness for cleo and jack.

SNOW!!!

these first photos are from last night















And these are from this afternoon:

my friends in beverly hills

so, lately i have been indulging in some 90210. i mean, it is a good show. This week my friends are freshmen in college. They just got through christmas break and finals. they really are quite a crew. Tonight Andrea is pregant and Erin is missing because David feel asleep while babysitting, because he has been doing meth to stay awake for the radio show.... oh the drama.
when i was in high school, there were a bunch of kids who got together every wednesday to watch 90210. Thursday everyone would talk about what happened on the show and what happened at Gabe's house (where the gathering usually took place). I never joined in the festivities. I watched 90210 for the first season, alone on wednesday nights and then when it got out of control popular, i decided i did not want any part of it. i always figured it would get canceled like my favorite, my so called life. so i was a little anti-establisment... i doubt anyone reading this is surprise. So, a couple of my friends and i would hang out and watch Ellen. (ironic huh?)
Then in college I did not have fox on cable my freshman year, although my affection for the walsh's and their buddies had resurfaced. so i waited until sophmore to check back in. they were well into college and having a time of it. I missed kelly's brush with the cult life and brenda and dylan's big break-up among other things. i caught up with my friends while brandon and kelly were falling for each other and valerie was just being a plain old bitch to everyone. Then they graduated, just a while before i did. they found jobs (sort of)... and blah, blah, blah. don't worry i've seen all the shows i missed the first time... like 7 times each now...
it's crazy because i remember all the little stupid stuff like the fact that donna's birthday is near christmas, but they never mention it until the last couple of years, and that in the first season donna and dylan's parents were played by different people. it's odd how attached i am to these californians... imaginary ones at that. I look forward to getting them all on DVD, making sure future generations of 90210ers exist. Thank goodness i can check out SOAPNet anytime and catch up with them.

ps. Cleo was born on the exact night when the final episode aired, you know the one where donna and david get married. I should have named her kelly taylor... nahhh, cleo was the perfect name for her.

snow on the horizon

literally, snow is coming. you can smell it. the snow brings winter. winter brings a world of opportunity, especially this year. it is time. it is time to ski and snowshoe, to exercise and fall in love with the outdoors again.
snow also brings the dire need of snow tires and worries about "the worst road in the state". skis would be more effective transportation on a snow-filled day, i will admit, but i pledge to be safe. I have too many good things to get home to to chance not getting there.
tomorrow, no doubt, as i write the snowflakes will start to flutter, leaving a dandruff-like dusting on the already soggy ground. i will spy it sticking to the trees and will marvel at the shear glimmer of it all.
the smell brings back memories. they say that the olfactory sense is the one most strongly tied to memory, that smells can literally bring us back. i remember sledding down the road at wasserman park soaked to my core and still wanting more. i remember the blizzard like conditions that snowed myself and a core group of friends inside of my house. Gosh, i remember snow days, as a wee tike and last year, snuggled and content to watch the wite stuff delightfully short of ice. i remember being stuck in Maine for an extra day of vacation. Somehow being 'stuck' really has a positive connotation, but only when speaking of snow. i hope we are stuck in this winter for at least one day. some would say that i am crazy and that i better knock on some wood. i say bring the snow. i have everything i would need for a lifetime within the walls i reside.

missin' friends

it's hard moving. no matter how badly you want to relocate, it is hard to leave the people you have surrounded yourself with. we make friends to make a place more bearable, and then sometimes we leave. the hope is that the friendships will go on even if miles separate the friends. this is not always the case, but the rare cases that do remain our friends are so worth it.
it was good to go back to the 'ham to see our old colleagues and friends. it was refreshing and comfortable to spend the day walking the halls of stapleton school, seeing so many friendly and familiar faces. sarah said, and nailed it perfectly, "it's like we are celebrities."