cakes

i hate cakes.

moving forward

there is alot i could bitch and moan about today, i.e. i feel like hell for no reason, i hate work, people suck and don't even show up to pick up stuff from craigslist ( i mean, come on!) but really, it's a good sign that it is time to move on. my co-worker steve told me yesterday i should be working with older kids and teaching English. he told me i have a talent for the creativity of writing and reading (how's that for looking on the bright side?) it's an idea. the truth is, i don't know what i want to do next exactly, and am lucky that i don't have to; not yet anyway.

sarah once wrote to me that she ws always obsessed with what was NEXT, and B wrote a bloggerton about a similar phenomenon. my question is this... what if right now isn't where you want to be, is it okay to dream of SOON? Sarah and I spent months wishing for SOON, and yet enjoying the moments we could spend. so, it is again that i am enjoying the small moments but at the same time longing for change. it's time.

I daydream about where i will be in a year's time, where we will be. today i looked down to find myself drawing on my 2-year-old desk calendar (stuck on december 2005?). i often doodle there. it's become a collage of drawings strewn together by scribbles and decmeber birthdays marked down. at any rate, i had found a sticker of a house and stuck it right down, and then surrounded it with green rolling hills and scrolled the word vermont.

there is part of my tht would like to say hastalavista and get the hell out of dodge tomorrow and be heading north by the evening hours, sarah, cleo and lily by my side. but the best is yet to come. waiting to make my move, being sure it is the right one, sounds sensible...

sisterly love

i mentioned sammie tonight while talking to my mom. i told her how sammie had made a surprise visit to boston this week, and that we had met her out for dinner in cambridge. the crazy thing was alissa was also down visiting. it was the first time our families had met, and how fitting that it was our sisters who were there to kick off family time. while i spoke of dinner, i couldn't help but note the relationship sarah has with sam, and how incredibly different it is from the relationship i have with my george. there is a weird sort of competition between sam and sarah. sarah and sam kinda like to piss eachother off, even though both would deny this viemently. (mom found likeness to the relationship jonah and i have... the whole pissing eachother off piece), but there is one thing that jonah and i will never have... sisterly love. sarah and sam love eachother dearly and think of eachother often. they know the ins and outs of eachother like no other person could... even me, even a boyfriend, or a best friend.

I wished for a sister when throwing pennies in fountains and when wishing on that first star. i offered to trade in jonah, often... a sister is all i wanted for xmas, and my birthday, and then one year, when i was 11, i got one!! alissa is that to me, a gift. she can do no wrong and knows it ; )
so i realize that no matter the manifestation of the sister bond, it remains that, A BOND. tied together as if in a three-legged race, for the remainder of our lives. thank goodness for sisters.

america's next top model

so, i say things like, "i don't like reality television." and the thing is, i mean it. then, i have a laid back day and i switch on the tv, and find things like america's next top model. all of the sudden i'm watching a marathon for hours and can't rememeber a time when i wasn't consumed with the plight of heather with autism, and hating bianca the bitchy one.

but, i would be lying if i said this was a one time deal. my last obsession with television was the ultimate coyote ugly search. i mean come on... it's good stuff.

the good thing though, is that tonight when the tv turns off, i can say i will not search for this show again (although i still do check or the coyote ugly girls). it truly is a one time thing. for me, that's just the taste i needed.

home again, home again, jiggity jig

Dorothy said it best, "there's no place like home." I've spent so much of my life thinking she was full of absolute shit (I mean her parents were non-existent, her uncle was willing to give away her dog, and no one even seemed to notice the hooligans she was hanging with). My home was a place that was not-so-safe feeling, and i could usually think of a million other places to be.

In fact, I thought about this a bit this weekend. My brother sits at home all of the time. he doesn't want to venture out into the unknown; he's got the makings of a hermit. "wanna go out to eat?" "nope" "wanna go to the mall?" "nope" When i was his age, even with all my issues, i was out and about as often as possible. He's missing out on so much of the world.

Having said all of this, I have to admit, i love coming HOME. my home is not only the shelter i have from the elements, but more importantly the ones that i love the most. It was so nice to come home last night and crawl into our own bed, give cleo and lily a kiss goodnight, and know i would wake up with familiarity all around me.

As we look north for a new place, i know that home will travel with me, seatbelted holding my hand, wagging a tail, and meowing in a kitty crate. These are the girls i call HOME.

craigslist

i remember a day when i didn't even know what craigslist was... what a memory of a simpler, more innocent time. My name is Mandy and I'm an addict. I am addicted to craigslist. it's my way of evaluating what people throw away, what people long for, and how people connect.
it's funny i've made these little pseudo friendships with people when approaching an exchange. i find that people are lonely and sad on the whole. i find myself wishing i could do more.
I've met a woman who didn't have enough money to buy toiletries for herself nd her daughter, a lonely older man collecting christmas decorations, a kid collecting 70's rock, a woman in love with a Tiffany's ring, and more.
I've found dogs that need homes, furniture on a curb, people in need, overpriced items and medical research projects.
I've realized that I have more than i need and i have alot to give.

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you're the only reason...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Qo62s8QNg

i really like this song...

the naughties

i think i am going to start a children's series about the naughtiest girls ever... and you thought Beatrix Potter had naughty characters...
to be continued...

mail for female in love with mail

my main man.
I love getting mail. today sarah and i recieved a package from sammie. what a nice surprise. she sent a copy of the DVD Accross the Universe and a RiRa T.
sarah's mom, on the other hand cannot get our address right to save her life. literally she could be hanging from a cliff and only be saved if she could correctly address a letter to sarah, and... i'm afraid she could not. luckily there is no such cliff.
We used to get random packages from aunt jen. she's back off lately, and although you could never be sure what was going to be in the sticker clad box, i kinda miss the feeling i get when i walk downstairs and find a box on the front porch.
Currenty, Sarah and i are awaiting a large box from Crate & Barrel... new bedding and christmas decorations. good stuff!

new music

people have wanted to talk music with me lately, and i have to admit i feel a bit out of the loop lately. Normally, i have a weekend morning routine. I get up early (it's all relative), and grab a book, and i slide silently out of bed so as not to wake up the love of my life, then i proceed to the living room where i do one of two things 1. watch VH1 and try to get my finger on the pulse of what is cool in music videos, or 2. listen to music ondemand on my cable TV (i have found many a new artist this way). But i havent' heard anything i am in love with recently. so i listen to recommendations with open ears. I should listen to more iron & wine i guess, i should check out so and so. i love it. I look it up on itunes and enjoy... but i have yet to find someone who moves me like ray, or someone i could listen to non-stop for a weekend, like ani. Entertainment Weekly even chimed in with their "EW's Latest Aural Fixations".... geez is everyone on a quest to find something that takes their breath away? They (EW) recommend JAYMAY, LAURA MARLING, KATE WALSH, and YAEL NAIM. the jury is still out.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8196216148019031639&q=kate+walsh&total=1781&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8196216148019031639&q=kate+walsh&total=1781&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8196216148019031639&q=kate+walsh&total=1781&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3684970686104734336&q=laura+marling&total=83&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

what do you think? what have you got?

kermit rocks

It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that

It's not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be...

it's how we've all felt at some point or another...