moving forward

there is alot i could bitch and moan about today, i.e. i feel like hell for no reason, i hate work, people suck and don't even show up to pick up stuff from craigslist ( i mean, come on!) but really, it's a good sign that it is time to move on. my co-worker steve told me yesterday i should be working with older kids and teaching English. he told me i have a talent for the creativity of writing and reading (how's that for looking on the bright side?) it's an idea. the truth is, i don't know what i want to do next exactly, and am lucky that i don't have to; not yet anyway.

sarah once wrote to me that she ws always obsessed with what was NEXT, and B wrote a bloggerton about a similar phenomenon. my question is this... what if right now isn't where you want to be, is it okay to dream of SOON? Sarah and I spent months wishing for SOON, and yet enjoying the moments we could spend. so, it is again that i am enjoying the small moments but at the same time longing for change. it's time.

I daydream about where i will be in a year's time, where we will be. today i looked down to find myself drawing on my 2-year-old desk calendar (stuck on december 2005?). i often doodle there. it's become a collage of drawings strewn together by scribbles and decmeber birthdays marked down. at any rate, i had found a sticker of a house and stuck it right down, and then surrounded it with green rolling hills and scrolled the word vermont.

there is part of my tht would like to say hastalavista and get the hell out of dodge tomorrow and be heading north by the evening hours, sarah, cleo and lily by my side. but the best is yet to come. waiting to make my move, being sure it is the right one, sounds sensible...